presence
I like to be by myself again now. For awhile I strictly preferred your presence and for another while I was in search of a presence to replace yours.
Now I’ve just started to enjoy my own more.
And I’ve always been one for extremes but I wish I could spend all my time only by myself, in my room, locked away. My brain scares me, but still it feels safer here. Like at the end of the day I can deduce everything to being a product of my own reality (fiction in a way). In the real world, everything out there is well, actually happening.
I’ve learned the importance of having people though. People to talk to, and ground you. Too much time in fantasy land can distort the true reality, so it’s good to have a balance. Otherwise my brain would leave my body behind and permanently move up into the clouds, or a dark cave somewhere.