bullying

I spilled my whole lunch on myself and contemplated the bully vs the bullied. 

“Now you get to wear your lunch too” seems to be something a bully would probably say as they knock a kids lunch over. The bully the classic antagonist and although I didn’t intentionally ruin my lunch and my clothes, was I still a bully to myself? To be the oppressor and the oppressed. The one that brings myself up, while also simultaneously knocking myself down. Because now that I’m old (or maybe throughout my whole life) and in college the only person truly holding me back is myself. And while I don’t mind being bullied as it it can form character, the bottom line is that I don’t have time to be both. I don’t have time to be the one that makes a mess and the one that cleans the mess. So maybe I should pick one, and I’ve already made a lot of messes today.