bad dream

I haven’t slept in months, but last night I had a nightmare that you were gone. It made me realize to which extreme I’ve likely been rather invulnerable to the world lately. You were here and nothing bad could happen, but last night I had a nightmare for the first time in a long time.

You left and my life became a nightmare. As if nothing was scarier than losing you and now that that’s happened I’m once again reachable by all the little fears you once protected me from. My subconscious is realizing that there is reason to be afraid of this world, so I need you to come back and protect me from it. I need you to come back and hold me and remind me that this is just a bad dream. I need you to come back and laugh with me and lay with me and live life with me. I really need you to come back and wake me up from this bad dream because I’m really really terrified that I might not actually be sleeping.